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I’m going to ask you a question – answer in your head.
Do you get a little excited when things go a bit crazy?
And by excited I don’t mean happy, like it’s something you’ve been looking forward to. Nobody wanted a global pandemic or any other chaotic, life-changing event. But once they occur and you’re in thick of things, it can be hard to let go of them when things begin to calm down, right? Be honest.
No one wants to admit it out loud (hence the answer in your head instruction), but many people can actually become addicted to chaos. Of course, this doesn’t have to mean chaos on a worldwide level, it may be the kind that only affects you personally. Regardless, riding the rollercoaster of a crazed life can be hard to give up for some of us – even if we say we don’t like it.
What Does Chaos Look Like?
I think we can all agree that COVID-19 created chaos. It’s hard to find anyone or anything that wasn’t touched by it. But that’s not the normal state of things and an extreme example of chaotic events that no one cares to see continue. That doesn’t mean, however, there aren’t some of us who have a feeling of unease at the idea of things going back to normal. I mean, what will we worry about then?
It doesn’t take something on that scale to cause a feeling of addiction, however. Most often chaos in someone’s life is much more limited and not as widely devastating.
Think about the people you know who always seem to be in crisis. They’ll tell you with breathless frustration they have “million things to do,” or things are “crazy right now.” And when things seem too calm, they may even actually do things that create a whirlwind set of events that make things chaotic again.
Chaos for a chaos addict doesn’t even have to seem chaotic to everyone else, although it helps heighten the experience. The important thing is that the person involved feels the drama and has the opportunity to respond to it.
For instance, Wendy may seem to be anxious and stressed because the whole family has dentist appointments this week, which is the same week a huge presentation is due, and her in-laws are coming into town. While Wendy may feel the chaos of this schedule, someone else may think it’s just a busy week.
Assessing whether something is chaotic really depends on someone’s threshold for measurement. Determining an addiction to chaos depends on the level of willing engagement, reaction, and amount of stress, drama and chaos a person seeks or draws into their lives.
Why We Can Become Addicted To Chaos
We all know you can become addicted to drugs, alcohol, and even porn. There are both physical and psychological reactions to those things that provide some level of gratification or euphoria. The more we experience it the more experiences we want. Chaos isn’t that different.
Some people actually feel energized by the stress and anxiety of chaotic events. They may say the drama and intensity make them feel alive and with purpose. Strangely, chaos can also allow a controlling person to feel more in control. The chaotic environment gives them the opportunity to take charge and exercise control over certain situations as they work to overcome the chaos. This can develop into a vicious cycle as most addictions do.
And by navigating chaotic circumstances, the chaos lover may also receive sympathy, gratitude, admiration, or feel a sense of accomplishment that other circumstances don’t provide. In Wendy’s case, successfully delivering her family to all the scheduled appointments, nailing her presentation, and having her home ready to graciously receive her in-laws, gave her a feeling of heroism as everyone lauded her superwoman level skills.
So, while you may not be getting “high” in the conventionally understood manner, the feeling of excitement that can come along with chaos comes from the release of endorphins, and a dopamine burst that will make the whole experience more pleasurable, which makes some want to feel it again and again.
Effects Of Chaos On You And Those You Love
The big question now is should you do anything about this? I mean it’s not really hurting anyone, right? And it’s not illegal.
No, it’s not illegal, but chaos can be damaging – mainly to you, although, it almost creates collateral damage as well.
Chaotic environments create stress. Even if that heightened stress provides what feels like a safe and sober thrill, it’s taking a toll on you both psychologically and physically.
Overtime stress creates a negative response in your body, raising blood pressure, increasing cortisol levels which affect weight, disrupting sleep patterns, and providing an environment for chronic inflammation to develop. All of these can lead to negative long-term physical problems.
Psychologically speaking these stressful circumstances will make it hard to concentrate, difficult to maintain healthy relationships, and leave you with a warped understanding of what happiness is really like.
Before you dismiss this as a my health my choice situation, you should also understand what perpetuating a chaotic environment is doing to those around you as well.
If you have children, a parent who creates or lives in constant chaos has been associated with their kids developing anxiety disorders, having poor performance in school, an inability to maintain friendships, and disruptive behavior. These issues can follow them into adulthood as well since children learn how to behave as an adult by watching the adults who surround them as they grow.
Your chaotic environment will also have a negative affect on your personal relationships as well. Whether it’s friendships or a romantic relationship, the constant stress that you thrive on will eventually push people away as they determine that they can’t, or don’t want to, keep up or deal with it.
Living Calmly Without Chaos
So, if you think you may be addicted to chaos what can you do about it?
Well, the first thing is to acknowledge it. Most people will assume their behavior isn’t really chaotic or doesn’t rise to the level of addiction and is “normal.”
The second thing is look for ways to begin slowing down and redefining your life and approach to it. This may be difficult and feel very uncomfortable. It may also mean eliminating certain pieces of your regular day-to-day schedule.
Wendy, for instance, could have recognized the stressful nature of her week and made changes like rescheduling appointments and enlisting the help of her husband to get ready for her in-laws.
Finding a way to live calmly and without chaos will vary greatly from individual to individual. The good news is that it gets easier with the effort and positives that come with living calmly can be seen rather quickly.
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Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
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